Ring in the New Year with Johnny Depp!

Photo: Getty Images

It's almost the new year, so in grand tradition of letting loose for a little carousing, I don't even care whether this casting rumor is nothing more than that.

Johnny Depp as Freddie Mercury. Hell yes.

And that's it for Personality Machine in 2006. That's 361 posts since I took the reins back in July (this is #362) and exactly 1,081 gay jokes, of which approximately 6 percent were actualy funny. Thanks for coming along for the ride, and I'll catch you on the flip side.

The last gasps of gay 2006

> Dylan and Brandon, the original secret boyfriends of teen TV, have a teary reunion at a location that is not quite the Peach Pit.

> Best Week Ever's best moments of gay 2006. Because, seriously, 2006 was a pretty gay year. It's not as jingle-ready as "the gay '90s," but it'll go down in history nonetheless.

> Footballers, sans wives, go to town on a gregarious fan. Meanwhile, in gayer parts of Great Britain, John Barrowman and his longtime boyfriend finally tie the knot.

> My friend Alicia gave me one of the beautifully over-the-top bracelets worn by Anne Hathaway in Brokeback Mountain. Anne Hathaway celebrated by going to a bear bar in New York and drinking beer. Atta girl.

> Jake Gyllenhaal would save you from a burning house. Really.

> Every gay angle you'd ever want to know about Gerald Ford.

Quickies: Post-holiday hangovers

We are totally in the land of no news, post-holiday hangovers and replays of the same family fights you witnessed as kids.

Also:

> James Brown died. So did Gerald Ford. 

> Sandra Oh is now officially free to become my legally unrecognized wife.

> I rung in Christmas Eve curled up on the couch with the pilot of One Punk Under God, and, as the Lord likes to say, it was good. The first two episodes and tonight's third installment -- in which prodigal punk preacher Jay Bakker goes toe-to-toe over embracing the gays -- are in heavy rotation on the Sundance Channel. Steal the remote back from your grabby grandpa. You know you want to.

Make love, not war

It's almost officially holiday time here, but there's still something you can do to bring peace on Earth.

Synchronized Global Orgasm Day. Seriously. (C'mon, were you really gonna skip today?)

WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction.

WHEN? Winter Solstice Day - Friday, December 22nd, at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm. There are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

And with that, I'm off. Kiss your mommas for me. The Personality Machine will be back in a lo-fi capacity on Tuesday.

Quickies: By the numbers

> TV MORE INFLUENTIAL THAN GOD: According to a super statistical poll commissioned by Bravo's www.OutzoneTV.com, TV outranks religion in terms of how Americans shape their opinions about queers. Nearly half of respondents (47%) felt television had a larger influence on their perception of gay and lesbian people, with religion coming in second with 34%.

> ALL FOUR OF THEM? In the same poll, 66 percent said they think the media reports too much on gay/lesbian celebrities. [Via Cynopsis]

> THREE OUT OF FOUR SOLDIERS MIGHT ASK, DON'T CARE: "73 percent of military members aren't bothered by lesbians and gays. Nearly one in four (23 percent) service members report knowing for sure that someone in their unit is lesbian or gay, including 21 percent of those in combat units."

> UNANIMOUS AGREEMENT: 100 percent of people I know think Friday Night Lights' Taylor Kitsch should smile more often.

Quickies: Ladies with an attitude

Photo: Getty Images

> Now you can not only reenact your own lesbian drama via OurChart, you can buy the clothes off the L Word ladies' backs.

> Smokin' hot Sarah Shahi has been cast in an NBC pilot called Life, where she'll star opposite Damien Lewis, a "cop wrongfully imprisoned and now returning to the force." She's his friend with "her own dicey past to deal with." Sadly it's unlikely to be a dicey dykey past.

> All these years and maybe Madonna's just like every other girl in Hollywood: What she really wants is to direct? According to Cinematical, "Blade to the Heat, which is in development, plans to be loosely-based on a boxing bout in 1959 between Emile Griffith and Benny 'Kid' Paret. As the story goes, Paret, a Cuban boxer, was a boxing champion who was set to fight Griffith after a particularly hard bout with another boxer. After alleged slurs to Griffith about his sexuality, they went into the ring, where Paret received a barrage of punches that sent him into a coma and resulted in his death 10 days later."

> Jessica Simpson was so unhappy with her do-over tribute to Dolly that she asked it be killed altogether. Thank God that on the internet nothing really dies!

Holiday spirit-check 3: Zune porn, 6A gives good phone, Reichen likes it

> Buy a Zune, get a homemade homo orgy for free?

> Six Apart -- the blog empire that through no real fault of their own brings you both Oh No They Didn't and this little page right here, wants to tell you all about their new holiday service: Blogs By Phone. You are totally geek enough to enjoy this.

> Reichen wants you to know that no matter what Perez Hilton says, he's really quite a versatile guy. Oh, and also he's planning to sue.

Holiday spirit-check 2: George, Miss Nevada, Straight outta Cali

Moving right along up that slippery slope of holiday cheer!

> George Michael memorializes his mum, who died 10 years ago, by playing a free concert for nurses of the National Health Service.

> Miss Nevada shows Miss USA what a girl gone wild really looks like. (My home state does me proud!)

> In the spirit of the California State Supreme Court taking up (eventually, anyway) the state's same-sex marriage ban, please appreciate this t-shirt from the folks at Mule. Why should we be in favor of getting the U.S. Out of California? "Seriously, what are we getting out of this relationship? We grow our own oranges and avocados. We make our own movies. We’ve got burritos and the world's 5th largest economy. Get the hell off our land so we can marry some gay people!" Amen. [Thanks Misha]