Breaking: Anderson Cooper's lost Loveline episode!

Photo: Getty Images

Nothing ever, ever ever dies on the Internet. Ever. And here is the best proof of that I've ever been sent by a source sympathetic to my particular obsessions:

Remember Loveline, the sex advice radio and TV show hosted by Adam Corrolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky? Some enterprising fans have been uploading episodes into a centralized archive -- and their most recent acquisition from the vault of history is Anderson Cooper's appearance, time-stamped January 29, 2001.

Yup, that's right. Anderson Cooper and his dorky little laugh, sounding less uptight than we've heard him in years, confessing to being a teenage compulsive liar, being fascinated by a discussion of how to suppress a gag reflex and strongly disagreeing when Adam says most people are only attracted to people of the same race.

Of course he was hosting ABC's reality show The Mole at the time, and as far as he knew that was going to be the high point of his career. Witness this early exchange:

Adam Corrolla: Anderson, you're a journalist, are you not?
Anderson Cooper: Sort of, right.

So who would care -- back then -- if he joked with a caller, "I whacked off right before I came on here!" Or if he asked substitute therapist Dr. Bruce, "Does Dr. Drew smell so pretty?"

Other highlights, and believe me the context doesn't add or subtract much:

> "If you watch TV too much, you'll get hair on your palms."
> "After you broke up you gave him head?!"
> "Have you heard that Dorothy Parker quote, 'Those born to the storm find the calm very boring'?" [Close, but no cigar. The quote's actually: "They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm."]
> "Can you get hard and stuff? It's just not ejaculating?"
> "I like to call it 'brushing the mole.'"
> "But sex with an old friend can be nice, right?"
> "My banana seat bicycle, it just won't do!"
> "I had to have separate security guards just for my penis!"
> "He's the only one who can get hard in the whole rave!"

And, at about an hour and ten minutes into the segment, in response to a caller concerned about her gag reflex, Anderson asks, "Does he do stuff [oral sex] for you?" The girl says yes, and Anderson presses on. "Well, that's good. Does he, like, coach you at all? Give you advice about what he likes?" When Adam enthusiastically calls out coaching tips for blowjobs, Anderson says: "You're making me hard!" Adam reports that Anderson has "perked up" for this gag reflex discussion, that he's "very inquisitive."

When a caller asks for help with being a compulsive liar, Anderson says he totally understands, because he did the same thing as an adolescent, lied about things as trivial as what he had for lunch. "Ultimately it all comes out and you end up looking like a complete jerk," he says.

It's a little depressing, actually -- once you get past the hysterical laughter, which, frankly, lasted for most of this 90-minute show. Anderson sounds completely unfazed by the callers' obscene issues -- simply amused and willing to play along, no matter how many sleazeballs an undereducated 16-year-old girl thinks she should sleep with. Now he won't answer a simple question about who keeps the home fires burning while he's out dodging bullets. It's almost enough to make me miss The Mole.

Previously > The Cooper-Cronkite love boat > How many times can one guy get outed?

Comments

[Nikki]

"Sort of, right."

Oh, honey... no! Hee.

I guess if you're hosting a reality show to stay working, you'd really not want to draw attention to your, y'know, actual journalistic credentials.

[bene]

So what? I could have claimed that I invented the H bomb on a reality show.

As to liking persons of the same race, I am one of those -- 8 legged people with 20 eyes.

Why do you MAKE news?

[Moor]

Too bad we'll never hear Anderson talking so dirty again.

[yega]

Wow, I have this interview, and 95% of what you say AC says, he doesn't. How sad.

good morning I getting weirded out reading about you

[JSAG]

I have known Andy just before Hurricane Katrina. At the time I really wasn't impressed with him outside of his pedigree and the curiosity I had with his guarded fame. Since that time I have occasionally read articles and stumbled upon websites to get to know more about the man I have been given the privilege to befriend over the past few years. He is nothing like what the news media and the self proclaimed worship websites have made him out to be. He is a very compassionate and intensely spiritual man. My earlier impressions of him have been replaced with humbleness and the overwhelming sense that I am a much better person for knowing him. He is a gift to the few of us who truly know him and a benevolent man to so many others whose lives he’s touched by his work and selfless charity. JSAG

[JSAG]

I have known Andy just before Hurricane Katrina. At the time I really wasn't impressed with him outside of his pedigree and the curiosity I had with his guarded fame. Since that time I have occasionally read articles and stumbled upon websites to get to know more about the man I have been given the privilege to befriend over the past few years. He is nothing like what the news media and the self proclaimed worship websites have made him out to be. He is a very compassionate and intensely spiritual man. My earlier impressions of him have been replaced with humbleness and the overwhelming sense that I am a much better person for knowing him. He is a gift to the few of us who truly know him and a benevolent man to so many others whose lives he’s touched by his work and selfless charity. JSAG

[laura]

"I wish for you..."

Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips.

Sunsets to warm your heart, gentle hugs when spirits sag, friendships to brighten your being, beauty for your eyes to see.

Confidence for when you doubt, faith so that you can believe, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth and love to complete your life.

[George C.]

Wow. This is pathetic. Why do you care so much? Here's a guy who was on a show having fun, I don't get why it's such a big deal.