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> Johnny Knoxville, star of MTV's Jackass, is officially back on the market.
The devlishly handsome prankster finalized his divorce from wife of 11
years Melanie Lynn, leaving him free and clear to further indulge in
homoerotic exploits like participating in a sperm donating contest with his buddies or letting a Russian
doctor massage his prostate on camera. Hey Johnny: If you're ever in New York and
you need a -- ahem -- hand, please drop us a line.
> Courtney Love has never been the type to let anyone put words in her mouth. (Psychotropic drugs? Yes. But words? Not so much.) So when a fawning, sycophantic journalist from Starzlive attacks the curiously subdued rocker with equally gratuitous compliments and details of her being swindling out of nearly $200 million of late husband Kurt Cobain's fortune, we couldn't help but wish Love would stop being so damn cordial and would start breaking windows with her fist or eating the paparazzo's neck like it was flan. Oh well. There's always next time.
> Representative Barney Frank tells Bill Maher that the next bill he plans to introduce
would make the possession or use of small amounts of marijuana legal.
Just one more reason in a stupefyingly long line of reasons we wish
this guy could be -- though sadly never will be -- president.
> Talk about terror in the skies! A 21-year-old woman is suing American Airlines after the carrier refused to help her with an unusually sticky situation.
It seems the passenger awoke from a nap to find a gooey substance in
her hair and a man masturbating next to her. When she asked the flight
attendants to remove the man -- who was not sitting in his assigned
seat -- they ignored her. The perpetrator was arrested when the
plane landed, and the woman is seeking $200,000 in damages. And more power
to her! We're already subjected to enough invasions of privacy and personal space when we fly, the
last thing we need is an unsolicited facial.
-- NOAH MICHELSON
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