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> Sacha Baron Cohen was recently spotted doing what he does
best -- terrorizing the clueless folks of small town USA. The comedian
-- currently filming the follow-up to his smash hit Borat titled Brüno:
Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making
Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay
Foreigner in a Mesh T-shirt -- was recently booted from the Wichita
Mid-Continent Airport for "dancing in tight short shorts, kissing and fighting in the lobby"
and reportedly showing up to an Easter play at a Kansas church in
chains. Never content to merely fool the little people, the National
Enquirer reports Ben Affleck was also recently victimized by Cohen. The actor was supposedly told that Brüno was a "very famous openly gay fashion
journalist," and it was only after Affleck phoned friend Sarah Silverman following what he claimed was "the
weirdest sit-down he has ever had with a reporter" that he learned he'd been duped.
> Time to revise those star maps -- DJ Paul Oakenfold is selling his $10 million home.
The celebrity remixer's 4,500-square-foot pad boasts four bedrooms,
six bathrooms, a recording studio -- and perhaps most impressive --
"sightlines from almost directly above the Hollywood Bowl to the L.A.
Basin and beyond, so [you] can see the ocean while watching whatever is
on stage." Though we're guessing if you can cough up that much dough
for a house, you can probably swing the $30 it'd cost to actually go and see the
19th Annual Mariachi USA Festival.
> Is nothing sacred? Rumor has it Madonna wants to remake one of the most cherished films of all time: Casablanca. The -- we simply can't bring ourselves to type this next word without quotes -- "actress" would naturally play the Ingrid Bergman role herself (never mind that Bergman was in her 20s when she filmed the movie) and would see the film shot in Iraq rather than Morocco. Stay tuned for the inevitable announcement of "As Time Goes By" being overhauled into a dance hall anthem by DJ Tracy Young.
> Audrina Patridge -- AKA the only non-blonde on MTV's The Hills -- was seen flaunting a new tattoo made up of Chinese characters which loosely translated read "The rice is fried in pork fat." While many are kindly speculating the inking was merely staged for Ashton Kutcher's new show Pop Fiction, we have absolutely no problem assuming she just might be that stupid.
-- NOAH MICHELSON
Omigod Sacha is So. Smokin'. Hot.
Posted by: Dylan | April 01, 2008 at 01:14 PM