Network television is a capricious business. Just ask the divine Parker Posey, star of the new-yet-already-cancelled sitcom The Adventures of Jezebel James. The series was promising, with a sweet, clever story, a top-notch cast that included Six Feet Unders's Lauren Ambrose, and a rapid-fire dialog written by Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. In an era where all series must be instant hits, the show had low initial ratings and was canceled after just a few short weeks, precluding the slow burn that fired up mega-hits like Seinfeld and Friends. I spoke with Posey for this issue, and you can read the interview at Out.com, but here are a few extras, including her thoughts on too much television, paparazzi, and whose dog is best in show.
Out: You’re not a TV watcher now? Parker Posey: No, I was kind of being a little too addictive with it, and it felt like a distraction to me. There was a time [in the past when] I didn’t watch any TV, and then I was feeling a little out of place and little too weird, and then I started watching TV and then I could bind over certain shows with strangers. I'm not sure about [television] audiences. If I like something I'll buy the DVD set. You know The Comeback? I love that show. I could watch that stuff over and over. I don't know if audiences have the same relationship to TV that we did as kids, because with the internet now -- there's a lot of criticism. The internet has just changed everything. The effect of television can be really dangerous. If I was a kid right now? I was raised on TV. If you’re a sensitive human and there is TV going on in your house, it can wreck you.
What was your favorite role? It might sound precious, but everything is it's own thing, like, who was involved, what in my life was happening at the time, and the dialogue was going on between me and the movie. Sometimes, like The Eye, I'm so happy I did that movie, I had such a wonderful time in Albuquerque. The need to get away and to travel, you know? That's one of the best things about what I do.
If you weren't acting? Something in the arts, dancing, writing, pottery, yoga, something in the city in where I can live here and get away. I have commune fantasies. There, I said it. I don't think it'll ever happen, but it doesn't mean I can't idealize it. That ideal couldn't happen right now because everyone would be too busy on iChat. Everyone's so reachable now.
What are the similarities between you and your character? Well, that's none of your business! [Giggles.] I'm in a good place night now. I'm not in a place where I think I should have kids, you know, because it's the thing to do, it's what women do -- they have kids. There's a part of our society that thinks if you a woman and you don't have children, there's something wrong with you, that you aren't complete, and that you are overly ambitious. I'm a mother to a lot of people. I'm a mother to my dog, I'm a mother to my friends, I garden, I do pottery, I exercise that part of myself. Honestly, I don't know if it's in my plan, if it'll happen. I have no idea. I've loved a lot of people. I've learned a lot in my relationships, and I'm happy to say that I haven't had children yet. And I'm approaching 40! And I'm really happy to be single and happy to be independent and successful and happy. There's an evolution, a growth of this country. The paradigm is shifting. There are still a lot of issues and there's still a lot of finding our way. What Hillary has gone through running [for president] is a big example to how far we have not come [and] how scared this country is of female power. [It's a] how dare you? kind of attitude... I had that in the South, and I'm like, I'm going to go be an actress. What? Who do you think you are?
You worked with Jessica Alba, who has been on lots of magazine covers lately. Did you ever want to be on the cover of men's magazines? I love Jessica! There's a thing about being a Maxim cover girl thing in the last 20 years... Maybe it's arrogance, but I always thought I had more to say. My parents didn't raise me to think looks are important. They didn't really compliment me all that much! It was more about being Catholic and being a good person. You know that thing that I think a lot of the girls do now, it's like I'm pretty so I'm going to hypnotize you.
Ever dated a girl? No, I like the other thing too much. I like guys. But I’m just enjoying being a single gal right now. I don't really know what dating is, so...
If you wanted to, you could be tabloid fodder. What would you do if you wanted to be? It was so silly. Me and a girlfriend were driving were doing some car errands and drove by some paparazzi guy leaning against the wall, and I [said to my friend], "What would you do if I was to like get his attention if I start screaming at him?" We were just at Bed Bath & Beyond and she was like, "I'll give you some of my coupons" to roll down the window. So I just started laughing my head off and I really, really screamed it. It was like, "Oh my God, it’s Parker Posey!" We laughed so hard. It was so high school. It's like really rare to do something so high school when you’re a grown up and I got a lot of joy out of it.
Did he get a photo? No he didn't. Isn't that silly? I was walking at the piers with my friend and we ran into Ethan Hawk and his girlfriend and their dog and I said, "Oh hey, what’s up?" and I noticed that there's like three paparazzi guys across the street. I had my dog and he had his dog and we said goodbye and I turned to my friend and said, "Oh how funny would it be if like Parker Posey And Gal Pal Walk A Little Dog Thru The West Village?" And I turned to the paparazzi guys and I'm like, "Hey you guys want a picture?" and so I just stand there [while they took pictures]. And they were like, "thank you thank you thank you."
Were you dressed appropriately? No, I looked like a rag, and then one of the guys yelled after I leave -- they're like really in high school -- "Yeah we got a picture!" And another was like, "Your dog's much cuter than Ethan Hawk's!"
There was one mysteriously homo-queasy line by the writer in the piece, though, that left me wondering: "After being accosted in the crowded eatery by an annoyingly effeminate fellow claiming to be a vocal coach to Madonna and Roger Waters..."
Only one way to get to the bottom of that weirdness -- ask Gabe if he really got hit on by some dude while trying to give an uncharacteristically serious interview:
Yes I did! He was eavesdropping and then asked if I was a singer and kept telling me
how much he could help me. I told him I smoke and drink and my voice
only has about 2 years left in it and I couldn't give a fuck. But he kept
talking about himself and all his maestros and famous clients even
though we had a tape recorder on the table and were obviously in the
middle of an interview. It was sweet though.
That update came fresh from the studio where Cobra is recording vocals in Spanish for a re-release of ¡Viva La Cobra! Though guilty pleasure translated literally is placer culpable, Gabe is apparently now determined to improve on the original: he used vicio -- vice -- because it's hotter. Clearly Gabe has traded in his Justin Timberlake obsession for a new career based on that of Christina Aguilera.
The new, more expensive video for "Guilty Pleasure," by the way, is debuting Monday on MTV -- Rolling Stone has a sneak peek here -- but if you want to check out the old, cheap, hysterical version, it's still on YouTube.
Imagine your overzealous high school English teacher fiddling with the overhead projector, except this time she's not diagramming sentences (shit, what's an indirect object pronoun again?), but instead employing paintbrushes and paper cutouts to produce a big-screen recreation of a whimsical forest scene, a flock of seagulls, or a skirted woman with shapely calves tapping her toes to the deft guitar strumming of a spry, real-life girl standing just a few feet away.
That button of a girl vying for your attention would be Leslie Feist, (a.k.a. Feist), the honey-voiced Canadian singer-songwriter who glided into the "Best Of" lists of nearly every major music publication last year -- and appeared in those jolly iPod ads you may have seen a few months ago when you were hoovering episodes of Project Runway.
Last night, Feist and her band mates pulled into New York City's Hammerstein Ballroom, planted themselves in front of their precious projections, and played to a packed house of adoring fans who weren't afraid to lend their own vocals to the show, as they cooed along to faves like "1234" and "Sea Lion Woman," Feist's superb Nina Simone cover. The petite songbird, wearing a red dress and tights and looking very Little Red Riding Hood -- charmed the audience, referring to the balcony above her as the Titanic passing in the night, while she and her players were mermaids frolicking in the waves.
She's a hopeless cheeseball, yes (at two points she performed only as a silhouette and at another had a crew member pepper her with paper snow), but Feist’s vocal delivery was about as impeccable live as it is on her 2007 stunner, The Reminder. Too many down-tempo numbers may have weighed down the set, but, overall, Feist demonstrated that she can take her seemingly effortless musicianship out of the studio and beef it up with a little relaxed goofiness, reminding us why we fell in love with her in the first place.
Get a little "Reminder" here with the her slinky clip for "My Moon My Man," in which Feist grooves out to a choreographed number on an airport conveyor belt:
> Jim Carey was recently spotted sauntering down a Miami boulevard with his hunky new Brazilian co-star, Rodrigo Santoro, on his arm. The two were shooting a scene from their film I Love You Phillip Morris which is based on the true story of a straight con man (Carey) who is sent to prison and ends up falling in love with his cell mate, played by Ewan McGregor. To prepare for the role the gang headed to a Miami gay bar where a source told HelloMagazine.com, "(They) looked like they
were having a great time. They were laughing and
joking and looked as though they were really trying to get into
character." And I think we all know that translates into getting loaded on Amstel light, posing by the DJ booth, and throwing shade at the 'mo who foolishly dared to wear an ascot out to the bar.
> Neil Patrick Harris is apparently full prepared when it comes to having items worthy of inspiring witty cocktail party chitchat. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, the star of the new Harold and Kumar film discusses such amusing and charmingly disparate topics as his longing to participate in a murder mystery dinner party, his need for a butler, an upcoming stint in Joss Whedon's new project "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," and his love of Jim Henson's early experimental film work.
> Someone you won't find engaging in the aforementioned cocktail party chitchat with Harris is Anderson Cooper. CNN's silver fox tells Outside magazine, "I stopped going to parties. I remember coming back from Rwanda during the genocide, and going
directly to a dinner party and not being able to converse with anyone." Cooper continues, "I just had nothing to say. I remember being very negative: They were talking about stupid stuff...? It's probably all for the best -- the less time he spends at dinner parties, the more time we can spend rolling on a bear skin rug in front of a roaring fireplace in our matching Armani briefs. -- NOAH MICHELSON
Photo: Getty Images A recent MSNBC.com expose confirms that the plastic surgery craze is only getting crazier. The article reveals what we pretty much already knew: there is no shortage of people willing to go to greater and greater lengths to appear younger -- even though the results often end up looking so ridiculously wonky they outweigh any benefits of having the procedures in the first place.
But the best part of the article is the sidebar slide show which features plastic surgeon Tony Yuon giving his opinion on whether or not 21 assorted celebs have spent any time under the knife / behind the needle / willingly slathered in acid -- you get the idea. Several of his reactions are no-brainers: Yuon says of Cher, "Where do we start?" before launching into a paragraph plumped full of phrases like "excessively smooth" and "fat injections" and "rhinoplasty" and suggests "if Elvis saw Priscilla Presley now, he'd be 'All Shock Up' ... her appearance resembles that of a wax
figure at Madame Tussauds museum." And his suspicions that Madonna, Tina Turner, Wayne Newton, and Bruce Jenner have had their fair share of nipping, tucking, and/or filling aren't exactly shocking either.
What did surprise me was how happy I was whenever Dr. Yuon happened upon a star who hadn't done a damn thing and still looked absolutely radiant. Of Johnny Depp he says, "Unfortunately for all us average looking men [speak for yourself, doc] Johnny Depp looks as good as he does without any obvious signs of plastic surgery." Same goes for Susan Sarandon, who he believes might treat herself to a mild chemical peel now and again but otherwise appears to be procedurally untouched.
Though the snark sloshes heartily and happily through my veins, and though I definitely can be cattier than the average fag, I've come to appreciate a person's ability to age gracefully. Perhaps it's because living in a world -- and working in an office full of gay men -- that so ardently values youth, I'm scared as hell to get older myself -- scared I'll find myself unwanted, unneeded, and deemed not only totally undesirable, but virtually irrelevant. It's a terrifying but very real thought, and makes seeing the occasional Johnny Depp or George Clooney in all their au natural "elderly" splendor that much more inspiring.
Illustrations show a crook-nosed mom with loose tummy skin under her
half shirt picking up her young daughter early from school one day and
taking her to a strapping and handsome "Dr. Michael."
Mom explains she's going to have operations on her nose and tummy
and may have to take it easy for a week or so. The girl asks if the
operations will hurt, and mom replies, "Maybe a little," warning she'll
look different after the bandages come off.
The girl asks: "Why are you going to look different?"
Mom responds: "Not just different, my dear -- prettier!"
Thank God. Haven't we all had just about enough of these ugly mommies running amok in the streets of America, ruining everyone's lives with their shamefully un-operated on faces and bodies?
Oh it is so good to have Gossip Girl back. Blair is still doing her evil best to ruin little Jenny (though the fact that she has to engage at all is a dire tactical situation to find oneself in). Serena and Dan continue to not talk about things and thus cause unnecessary conflict. Chuck remains the smarmiest, sexiest snake-charmer who has chemistry with every single person in the room. The biggest shocker: Nate has somehow become interesting!
And the show continues its hilarious way of simultaneously proving its utter queer coolness (witness Nate and Vanessa's funny date banter about their shared fondness for lesbian punk bands) and complete over-the-top promotions (see teaser for next week's episode, above).
THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING THAT'S COMING OUT. Get it? GET IT?
Whatever, obviously if Serena's little bro, Eric, got a makeover -- he has bangs now! and they're cute! and Chuck seems like maybe he's trying to seduce him! -- he's totally going to be the gay one. Anything will be more interesting than having to watch Michelle Trachtenberg, who I barely and rarely enjoyed on Buffy, sort of attempt to be mean and manipulative. Sweetie, leave it to the real pros on this show.
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In other "good TV shows never die, they just spawn years of guest appearances on other, lesser shows" news, the late, great Arrested Development wins this month's prize for most ex-cast placements. Witness the following:
> Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth) showing up in the last five minutes of Forgetting Sarah Marshall as Kristen Bell's new on-screen crime-fighting partner. Animal Instinct!
> Tony Hale (Buster) teaching Michael Jackson dance moves to karate-clad dancers in Fall Out Boy's video for their "Beat It" cover. (Also keep an eye out for Scrubs' Donald Faison and Queer as Folk's Hal Sparks.)
> Jessica Walter (Lucille One) as the matriarch in the 90210 spin-off. She'll play Tabitha, "a 60-something has-been actress and alcoholic." I don't mean to overstate the case, but this sounds kind of like The Wire's Michael K. Williams (Omar Little) going back to playing two-dimensional thugs.
In outward appearance, Hot Chip is a fairly unremarkable indie band. None of the band's five musicians bring much in the way of charisma or showmanship or fashion sense or any of the things that typically suck in us style-obsessed gays. They wear their T-shirts and button-downs, play and sing, maybe bob their heads a bit, and that's that.
Yet these unassuming Londoners have a way of whipping audiences into a froth that's far from ordinary. At their Fillmore show last week, the feeling in the crowd was more like San Francisco's early raves than the stand-and-stare vibe engendered by the usual rock shows. Hot Chip does play guitars: There was at least one of those in action during most of the set, although Al Doyle and Owen Clarke (the token babe) swapped guitar, bass, and synths throughout. But the pair played them as if they were keyboards to present an intricate electro-psychedelic throb as the four front Chips stand in a Kraftwerk-like row while the fifth, Felix Martin, dutifully mans his drum machines in the center back. Only Joe Goddard, the one with the deep counterpart voice and stubbly chipmunk cheeks, makes movements that could be considered in any way rocking out.
Starting with the jerky "Shake a Fist," the quintet ignited a thick, shifting groove that -- despite influences like Prince that they enthusiastically flaunt -- manages to sound startlingly unique in a current indie scene packed with aspiring disco-punks. Paradoxically, one of the things Hot Chip did so well Thursday night was to start a track as a roots-revealing cover version and then seamlessly segue into one of its own: Bespectacled singer Alexis Taylor (above) began "And I Was a Boy From School" as a poignant dance take on Big Star's '70s power-pop cult favorite "Thirteen;" an encore of "No Fit State" started out as New Order's rousing dance-rock classic "Temptation," and an anthemic sing-along version of "Nothing Compares 2 U" by The Family/Sinéad O'Connor/Prince gave way to Hot Chip's closing ballad "In the Privacy of Our Love."
Like at the recent SF concert by the very gay/lesbian Magnetic Fields, it was tough to figure out who in the Hot Chip audience was gay and who was not. This is of course confounded by the band, which is straight, but sang in the concert favorite "Ready For the Floor" its most memorable and harmony-drenched lyric -- "You're my number one guy" -- without a shred of ambiguity. As an English dance act, it's entirely fitting that Hot Chip would put a gay twist on a sweet seduction song that's played out on a club floor: Brits typically respect the subcultural sources of their music scenes, and take great pride in exhuming them. What even more intriguing is how queer the international indie scene is turning, how indie we gays are getting, and how two tribes that have been fairly antithetical for ages are now overlapping into a complicatedly sexy mass. It would take a lot more space than I have here to map it all out, but I'm sure that this phenomenon had a lot to do with why Hot Chip's show was so euphoric. We're feeling the power of our influence just like in the glory days of '70s disco and androgynous '80s pop, and the indie world -- whether they know it or not -- is definitely feeling us.
> More details are emerging about the work Rufus Wainwright is composing for the Metropolitan Opera. Though there we don't yet know where or when the work will be performed, the singer did tell Variety that the opera will be centered around "the construct of the diva, from Maria Callas to Norma Desmond and the (Jean-Jacques Beineix) movie Diva from the '80s" before adding "and God darn it, there's a bit of me in that too." We can't wait! After seeing Rufus burn down Radio City Music Hall singing the Judy Garland songbook, we know he's always just the man for any diva-themed undertaking.
> Poor Kathy Griffin. The comic told reporters at last week's GLAAD Awards that she and billionaire Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak have split up."He is an awesome guy, but I have to say he is in the friends category now," she confessed. However, Kathy doesn't appear to be too distraught, telling reporters that Wozniak will appear on the next season of her hit reality show My Life on the D List: "He is really cute and funny on it... He's totally a life-long friend." Somehow we feel kinda guilty about this one -- seems perhaps the curse of "always the fag hag, never the girlfriend" may just follow Kathy to her grave. But at the very least, it's led her to the bank.
> Scarlett Johansson wants you to know that just because she uses her saucy good looks to sell products, that doesn't make her a hooch. She tells Spin magazine: "I have platinum blonde hair, and I'm extremely curvy: I pour myself
into a dress and show up and strut my stuff at premieres. Of course I
expect people will have certain ideas, but it's weird if people
associate the fact that I sell handbags or wear a bikini with who I am
when I wake up in the morning."
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