Big mouths: John Waters and Janet Jackson spill it

Photo: Getty Images

Because there's only so much gay gossip one ragtag group of Popnography bloggers can handle and submit to the masses at any given time, we sometimes happily rely on and thank our competition for doing the dirty work we simply can't get around to doing. It means you still get the up-to-the-minute (OK, OK, up-to-the-day) queer info you crave and need, and we can concentrate on writing pithy posts about the theft of a synthetic Jenna Jameson vagina. So without further ado...

Men.Style.Com is featuring an interview with dirty birdy director John Waters.  In it he claims Hairspray is "the only radical thing I ever did ... it makes fat girls stars," that the Beatles ruined rock and roll, and waxes nostalgic (and pornographic) about Alvin and the Chipmunks:

Q: People always talk about your outlandish fascinations. Do you have any normal ones?
A: I do love The Chipmunks. I'm erotically obsessed with Alvin. I talk about that on my Christmas show, how I wanted to have sex with Alvin and the Chipmunks. And a real animator -- I'm not going to tell you what period he was from -- just drew one for me of Alvin jerking off. One of the best fan presents I ever got.

Q: What's arousing about a chipmunk?
A: Nothing! But the idea that you’re so excited that you suddenly turn into another voice by getting worked up: "Alvin. . . Alvin . . .ALVIN!!! OKAY!" It’s beyond speed. It’s like you’re at the wrong speed. I've always lived my life at the wrong speed, I think, so I kind of love the idea. It's probably the only thing everybody else likes that I like.

Q: Albeit in a far different context.
A: Well, maybe people don’t have the nerve to say it -- that they're at home masturbating and looking at Alvin. Maybe Details readers may want to write in and say that they, too, are attracted to him.

Not to be outdone by a discussion of a pre-orgasmic rodent with an erection, the new E! Online interview with Janet Jackson boasts a conversation about the singer being reincarnated as man in her next life so she can come back and make boyfriend Jermaine Dupri "her bitch," her flirtatious relationship with Ellen DeGeneres, and amping up her output of femininity to outdo Janet Jackson drag queens:

Who have been some of your favorite Janet Jackson drag queens?
It's awful because I can't remember their names, but one of them was at the Baton [Show Lounge] in Chicago. This was a few years ago. And she did a wonderful job. And another was not that long ago recently in Atlanta at the Jungle. She did a wonderful job as well.

Why do you think they do a good Janet? What's a good Janet drag queen?
They really study you. They truly study you. But you know, they pour it on more, which I absolutely love. They give more than I do and I love that. The first time I went to the Baton in Chicago and saw this show, I was with some of my [female] dancers. Afterward, I said to my dancers, "We've gotta pull up because these bitches are hitting it. They're giving so much femininity and we look like boys onstage." The next night we had a show and we were trying our hardest to ooze with that feminine touch.

So Janet wants to be a Janet drag queen?
[Laughs.] When [late makeup artist] Kevyn Aucoin was around, I used to say it would be really fun to do a whole editorial spread in a magazine with me as a drag queen, completely from head to toe. I would love to do that.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Comments

[Nick]

I luv Janet, that interview was GREAT-CNT wait 4 the TOUR-new album ROKS!!!!!