Quickies: Perez gets a death threat, Posh loves the gays, and Dolly's foul mouth is no fault of her own

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> Perez Hilton is claiming former Desperate Housewives star Jesse Metcalfe threatened to murder him after the gossip columnist joked the actor was gay. Perez says, "That was quite negative energy. He was drunk and said he wanted me dead. I was quite shocked." If a few gay jokes is enough to warrant that kind of existential bad vibe, we're a little scared what the future holds for Popnography's sunny mood.

> Victoria Beckham -- who recently revealed "I'm not going to sing anymore, I'm turning my mic off" -- told the Sun that straight men no longer find her attractive and that "all the men that like me are gay. It’s true. I have a really strong gaydar. I do love gay men though." And we love you too. Almost as much as we love your husband.

> Dolly Parton is hoppin' mad about a sketch recently featured on the Howard Stern show. It seems Stern cut and spliced bits of Parton's audio books to create racist and incredibly sexually graphic sound bites, which he then passed off as authentic passages from the books. The offensive instances include Dolly "saying" "Kenny Rogers loves to piss inside little boys' assholes" and claiming that Johnny Carson and Burt Reynolds liked to double team young boys. Dolly issued a statement saying: "I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this." Give 'em hell, Dolly! You can listen to the Howard Stern show in question below, but we warn you -- it's certainly not for the faint of heart, the delicate of constitution, or any of Dolly's younger or more tender fans:

-- NOAH MICHELSON