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> Lauren Hutton is not a fan of Sex and the City -- or, apparently, gay men. The former model lashed out at the series and film for promoting the idea that women are promiscuous, and she holds the gay writers of the show responsible for the false portrayal. During her visit to The Today Show she said:
"It's written by guys, who happen to be gay, who are sluts. Let's face it: Most men are sluts. That's what testosterone is supposed to do. As a hunter, if you stayed alive after 30 nature wanted your genes out there. Women were just trying to get the best sperm to make a masterpiece. You have a bunch of guys who are sluts, writing for women and telling them they are supposed to act like this."
You got us, Lauren! Turning women into sex-crazed zombies is but one small part of the gay agenda. We also really love show tunes, spend all of our time at the gym, and carry around tubs of Crisco for impromptu fisting parties -- and you would have seen the girls participating in more of that stuff, too, if SATC episodes weren't only 28 minutes long.
> Steven Tyler is in rehab -- for his foot. The Aerosmith front man reportedly entered a California facility earlier this month to treat a substance abuse problem, but he is now claiming he's merely recovering from foot surgery. "The doctors told me the pain in my feet could be corrected but it would require a few surgeries over time," Tyler said in a statement Thursday. "The 'foot repair' pain was intense, greater than I'd anticipated. The
months of rehabilitative care and the painful strain of physical
therapy were traumatic," he said, adding, "I really needed a safe environment to recuperate where I could shut off my phone and get back on my feet." I don't want to come off as brash or cocky in your time of podiatric distress, Steven, but three years ago, when I was recovering from sinus surgery (sexy, right?), I laid on my lumpy orange IKEA couch for two weeks watching the Price is Right, and I healed just fine -- without a rehab team to nurse me back to health.
> The very thing you've been waiting your whole lives for is about to happen: Irrefutable proof that aliens exist will be presented in Denver. Jeff Peckman, who is promoting a ballot initiative to create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in the city, says he has footage of a 4-foot alien looking through a window and will show the clip at a press conference today. Peckman claims the film is one small portion of the overwhelming proof he has that aliens have visited our planet. He also says that an instructor at the Colorado Film School in Denver scrutinized the
video "very carefully" and determined it was authentic. The clip will not be shown to the public because it's part of a documentary that will be available for purchase in the coming months. Brilliant plan, Peckman! Why on earth wouldn't you charge people to see what is undoubtedly proof of the most important revelation in world history?
-- NOAH MICHELSON
Lauren's comment makes me sad. Her righteous finger-wagging smacks of emotional damage. There is so much puritanical shame out there when it comes to non-monogamous sex, be it gay or straight sex, or the gray areas in between. The word "slut" is only pejorative in so far as we believe its assigned meaning to be true and wield it to deflect our own shame. Otherwise, it's just a word, like "gay" or "queer" or "dyke," that owes its force to the speaker's intention behind it. Wouldn't it be great if queer and non-queer folks joined together and reclaimed the word "slut" once and for all? What a fabulous and slutty party that would be.
Posted by: Dylan | June 01, 2008 at 02:06 PM