The Idol hangover special

Photos: FOX

I had good intentions to liveblog the American Idol results show last night, until I realized that there was no way I was getting through it without a lot of friends and a lot of wine. I have a rule now about liveblogging and wine.

Here were the only parts I cared about and can still remember clearly:

> George Michael: Looks thinner, thus older. Sounds fantastic. Does not at all want to share the stage with another singer, thank you very much, nor is he inclined to take off his sunglasses. None of these  things except that he finally looks a little older actually counts as news. (At least he's still got his Greek genes to thank for one thing -- that man is going to go to his grave with a full head of hair.) I'm still confused by him even appearing, though, given that he and FOX owner Rupert Murdoch have spent years having a very nasty and very public feud. It either proves that Idol can make anyone sell out, and/or proves that George will do anything to prove he can be the biggest star in the world, still. 

> David Cook: Totally surprised he won (and by 12 million votes!) but totally pleased. He has a great voice, a strong sense of himself and his sound. Plus he is somehow both polite and seems genuine and yet knows how to act like a rock star, and has since week one. And it doesn't hurt that he's got great thighs. See for example his awesome Guitar Hero ad:

(If that gets yanked, try this search to find it.)

> David Archuleta: Here is some totally unsolicited advice on how not to end up sad and miserable like fellow runner-up Clay Aiken, whether you're actually gay or not. Get a lawyer. A really really good lawyer. Get emancipated from your crazy daddy or do anything you can to be sure he can't touch a cent of what you make from here on out. Then, quit with the Christian love songs shit. Stop trying to appeal to pre-teen girls and their peri-menopausal aunts. Don't, for the love of God, do a Disney show or movie. If you can, take a year off after your first album and figure out who you are, not who everybody wants you to be, and then go be that person. People will respect your self-respect and you'll make better music anyway. (I realize this is probably a losing battle, but post-Clay I feel we all owe the world a little more effort in nipping that kind of thing in the bud.)

Also, I have won some kind of world championship prize for forgetting to set my TiVo to add extra room in case the show went over. It did, and guess where it cut off! Right when Ryan Seacrest said, "And the winner is... David --------"

Then in my flailing around I hit the button to change the channel, thus losing the bumper space of live recording. Again I say: Thank God for the internet.

(Also, what the hell? I totally begged the universe to make George Michael a judge on this show back in March. This was almost as good as getting his snarky commentary.)

Comments

[John S]

I'm so happy and fulfilled! More refried MOR shlock on the radio! Bring it on!