> It appears over the years Whoopi Goldberg has been quite the popular gal. While discussing France's first lady, Carla Bruni, who reportedly has had over 30 lovers, Goldberg revealed the number of paramours she's enjoyed by counting them out using her fingers and toes. When the charades had ended and the dust had cleared, it turned out she's been with over 50! "You should do an album!" Barbara Walters teasingly exclaimed (in reference to Bruni who currently holds the #1 record in France with a collection of songs that features lyrics about her past lovers). Whoopi countered, "It doesn't matter how many people you've been with in your life. It's who you stick with." Amen! There's nothing we love more than a woman seizing her sexuality and romping her way around the city as much or as little as she pleases. As for us, we're looking forward to finding someone to "stick to" but we're still in the woefully shallow but wonderfully satisfying "it's who you stick it to that matters" phase in our lives.
> Dina Lohan is hopping mad (we really have no idea how or why that strange, antiquated phrase came to us -- we just suddenly had a vision of Dina jumping up and down with smoke coming out of her ears kind of like a somewhat daintier version of Yosemite Sam)! She recently learned -- from TMZ.com of all places -- that her 14-year-old daughter Ali auditioned for porn mogul Peter Davy. Though the audition wasn't for a XXX film -- Ali seems desperate for a taste of the same caliber of stardom her older sister Lindsay has secured, but not (yet) hungry enough to get nake-o -- Davy is known for helming such classics as "Breast Wishes 14" and "Buns Busters 12." Apparently the meeting was set up by Ali's agent without Dina's knowledge or permission. TMZ is also reporting that while Ali's buns are off the table, she did manage to score a role in Troll, a remake of the 1986 cult classic of the same name. Congratulations Ali, but somehow starring in Troll seems just as bad as being the face -- er, chest? -- of "Breast Wishes 15." Though, Jennifer Aniston did get her start in Leprechaun, so maybe you're truly, finally, on your way.
> Grab your Kleenex -- Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have split up. Us Weekly reports the two ended their three-month relationship this past weekend. "There was no drama or ugliness -- they just decided to end things," a source close to the couple supposedly told Us. "There is no hatred, just sadness." During their brief stint together, Hudson accompanied Armstrong to many of his races and events including his Lance Armstrong Livestrong Summit in Columbus, Ohio, where the two reportedly called it quits. Us claims the two had met each other's parents and that Hudson's 4-year-old son Ryder went to a Father's Day brunch with Armstrong (and dad Chris Robinson), but c'mon! After three months, could things really have been that serious? Can't we just get past this and let the Kate and Lance find two other celebs to be gorgeous and nauseatingly happy with? Time's a-wasting, people! The sooner you get new love interests, the sooner we can speculate about when you'll be breaking up with them. (Cue Elton John's "Circle of Life.")
-- NOAH MICHELSON






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