Before eHarmony begrudgingly allowed gays to take part in their cloyingly-chaste-to-the-point-of-gag-inducing Internet matchmaking game (which was only after getting sued for discrimination and being forced by a NJ court to create a separate site for us homos), Out columnist T Cooper logged on to see if he could find himself some straight Evangelical-approved lovin'.
After swapping emails about "[his] parents' relationship, what [he likes] to do on Saturday nights, and where [he sees himself] living in 15 years" with vegan NPR-lovers around the New York Metro area, T grew tired of tricking the eager straight lasses (and weary of hetero girls in general -- as he ever so eloquently puts it "Damn, straight chicks are tedious") and moved onto some decidedly raunchier online interfacing -- the daddy of all gay Internet hook up sites: Manhunt.
He writes:
"Almost immediately I received a slew of e-mails and invites to chat. Here's a sampling, all from different guys: "Ur yummy"; "I'm going 2 be 4ward and invite myself over right now"; "Look out when I stalk you down there in the E. Vill"; "I'd like to take a bite outta your vegetable"; "You know how to use a semicolon; I think I'm in love"; "Handsome, u better call me later so we can talk dirty"; "If you'd let older (45) guy suck you off while you watch porn… no recip… swallower… please call me anytime"; and so on. I'm not saying I'm the hottest person in the world -- not even close -- but I just might've inadvertently stumbled upon the go-to elixir for those sporadic times I lapse into feeling ugly, flabby, old, not masculine enough, and so on."
To read the outcome of T's oppositely-themed adventures on eHarmony and Manhunt, as well as our feature story on Manhunt from Out's September issue, head over to Out.com.
-- NOAH MICHELSON
Previously > My Manhunt Vacation
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