Another post in a continuing series examining the not-so-subtle subtext of Christmas stories...
Boys bond best when they feel like it's them against the world (we would know), so when outsiders Rudolph the reindeer (he has a red nose!) and Hermey the elf (he wants to be a dentist!) meet via a snowbank, they confidently declare and share their nonconformist status -- through song, no less -- and decide to run away from their troubles.
Their escapades lead to a menage a trois (some bromances are solid enough to invite in a third without worrying the original relationship will crash and burn...) with gold/silver/peppermint(?) miner Yukon Cornelius. Eventually the three head off to the Island of Misfit Toys, which sounds like a destination circuit party if we've ever heard of one. Being empathetic to fellow loners, the boys promise to do all they can to alert Santa to the outcast toys' plight. Then Rudolph selflessly abandons his friends because his flashing snout is alerting the Abominable Snow Monster (read: silver leather daddy with a temper) to their whereabouts, putting his own life in danger to protect Hermey and Yukon.
Naturally, both Rudolph's and Hermey's skills lead to their salvation: Hermey is able to operate on Abominable's rotten teeth, which was what led to him being so, well...abominable; and Rudolph and his bright beak famously lead Santa through The Storm of the Century to save Christmas. See? Everyone has a place -- even bearded miners: Yukon trains Abominable to be the Christmas-tree-star-topper. Moral of the story: threesomes don't have to be awkward or weird, and when everyone embraces and utilizes their God-given talents, everybody wins!
-- HARKER JONES
Previously > Charlie Brown & Linus Van Pelt
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