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Every day a new slew of packages gets tossed onto my desk from publicists and artists asking us to promote their projects. CDs, books, trailers for upcoming movies, premiere episodes of next season's sitcoms -- if it's new and needs some buzz it usually ends up here at some point.
The only problem is that half of the time the projects aren't remotely aimed at gay audiences. Seeing as we're operating in a mainly post-gay world (I'm referring to popular culture here -- obviously events like yesterday's California Supreme Court ruling constantly remind us that we have a long way to go before our sexuality is no big deal), Popnography isn't just looking for queer artists or straight performers with a gay project coming up -- we're looking for high quality stuff that our readers will want to know about.
And still, I'm constantly amazed by the random ass pitches I get. Like, for example, a new book by country singer LeAnn Rimes entitled What I Cannot Change. It didn't really seem like something we'd normally cover, but I decided to flip through it just to see if there was anything worthwhile lurking behind the Chicken Soup for the Country Fan's Soul-looking cover.
The book is broken into chapters like "Sobriety" and "Growth" and features confessions related to each theme. At first I absentmindedly thumbed through the pages while checking emails, but I soon found myself totally engrossed in LeAnn's train wreck of a life. And what a train wreck it is! Her 26 years on this planet have been, without a doubt, the messiest 26 years I had ever read about. Here's LeAnn admitting that she was sexually abused as a child. There's LeAnn admitting that she's recovering from a meth addiction. LeAnn's husband just died in Iraq. LeAnn is still traumatized by the abortion she had years ago. The only thing more shocking than the sheer volume of nightmarish things this poor girl has endured is that fact that I had never heard about any of this stuff! How has she kept it under wraps all these years? And here I thought she was just the chick who sang that catchy little number from the Coyote Ugly soundtrack!
But when I got to the entry that said, "I am a pre-op transsexual woman," I started to get angry. No, LeAnn, you are not a pre-op transsexual woman. You may have OD-ed on the foundation and lip gloss a few times to try and mask the awkward, gawky phase you were going through as a teenager (growing up in the public eye isn't fun for anyone), but that doesn't make you trans! And then I realized this book wasn't about LeAnn at all. These were all letters to LeAnn from people who were inspired by her song "What I Cannot Change." My anger quickly morphed into the kind of disappointment I usually feel only after seeing an Adam Sandler movie. As sad as the life I had constructed for LeAnn was, at least she seemed -- even for those two minutes -- intriguing. Fresh. Unpredictable. Like someone who wouldn't release a self-indulgent, borderline narcissitic self-help book.
So, in some strange way, LeAnn got what she wanted. I wrote about her cozy little book with its big, sloppy feelings oozing out all over my desk. But I promise it won't happen again. Because while there might be a lot of things that I cannot change, who and what I write about isn't one of them. Consider this your one and only freebie, LeAnn.
-- NOAH MICHELSON
Previously > School's Out 4-Ever
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