Spidey's Jazz Hands Get Shut Down

This week the online world has been all abuzz with news of the Disney-Marvel merger, and while I cannot wait to see Belle battling Storm at the Magic Kingdom, the other big comics story of the week is that the Spider-Man musical, Turn Off the Dark -- to be directed by Julie Taymor (Across The Universe, Frida) with music by Bono and The Edge -- is being shelved indefinitely.

Spidey may be one of the least gay superheroes around. The closest the gay readers came was in the mid-90's during "The Clone Saga" storyline when a new twinky Spider-Man, Ben Reilly, was introduced. He was a blond clone of Peter Parker, and though his sexuality was never addressed, when he took over the Spider-Man mantle he changed the costume by adding some accessories and called himself "Scarlet Spider." 'Nuff said. But it looked like the original Spidey was gonna get a little gayer courtesy of the Big White Way. Julie Taymor brought in Alan Cumming to play the Green Goblin, and Evan Rachel Wood (fresh from her performance as a woman-lovin' vampire queen on True Blood) to play Mary-Jane. Though there was no official announcement of who would play Peter Parker, it looks as if actor/musician and all around hottie Reeve Carney (who can be seen in Taymor's upcoming film adaptation of The Tempest) was the lead choice to play the web-slinger.

But with a ballooning budget of over $40 million, the production of the musical was put on hold and the actors have been released from their contracts.  The producers insist that once more money is acquired, the production will continue moving towards its February 2010 opening, but with the actors set free, it looks as if jazz hands Spidey is looking less and less like a possibility.

While many dreams are squashed with this announcement, the one I was already indulging in was seeing Neil Patrick Harris descend from the ceiling of Radio City Music Hall at next year's Tonys dressed head to toe in Spidey spandex (NPH already voiced Spidey for Spider-Man: The New Animated Series on MTV (see the above video).

Spidey choreographed dance numbers and NPH cameos may all be awash now, but who knows, maybe Disney can now funnel some money into the flailing Broadway production, and we may yet see Peter Parker singing a duet with Liza at next year's Tonys, but until then readers can flip through old Spider-Man back issues and dream of an arachna love that never was.

-- CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH

Previously > The Lair Gets Inked