Lunching with Lauper

Photo: Getty Images

Cyndi Lauper is headed off stage and into the boardroom to take part in the new season of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice and today from 11 - 2 she'll be doing her best lunch lady impression at Burger Heaven, 804 Lexington Avenue (at 62nd Street), NYC. Stop by, enjoy a burger, and help Cyndi and the women's team raise money for charity.

Previously > Chatter: Madonna the Geek

Ben & Jerry Celebrate Gay Marriage the Only Way They Know How

Nothing says "marriage equality" like "fudge covered peanut butter filled pretzels in vanilla ice cream with fudge and peanut butter." To that effect, Ben & Jerry's has decreed that for the month of September that the classic flavor formerly known as "Chubby Hubby" shall be known as "Hubby Hubby," in honor Vermont's same-sex marriage law, which goes into effect today. "The legalization of marriage for gay and lesbian couples in Vermont is certainly a step in the right direction and something worth celebrating with peace, love and plenty of ice cream," said CEO Walt Freese. Related: we want some.

Previously > The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. Yes.

Fruity Sex Outrages Father

My grandfather, God bless his soul, used to complain that our society had become so filthy it was no longer safe for him to leave his home. He'd stay in his La-Z-Boy recliner and watch old spaghetti Westerns where the most action he could possibly encounter was maybe a cowboy smooching his horse.

I thought of my grandpa today when I read an article on Metro.co.uk about a British man who is outraged that his children have been subjected to a "pornographic" candy wrapper. It seems Haribo's MAOAM packaging features a lemon and a lime "locked" in what Mr. Simpkins of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, refers to as "a carnal encounter." He added, "The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face." Don't be so quick to throw around genders, Simpy -- that lemon has got a hell of a lot of stubble on its face.

The father of two claims his wife was so distressed (undersexed?) that upon seeing the wrapper she had to sit down in the car park. Haribo responded to the complaint by saying the "fun" packaging was introduced in Germany in 2002 and countered that "The jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans, both young and old." And you can add Popnography to that list -- we love fruit. And fruit engaging in lewd acts? All the better.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > Choose The Winner Of Our Lady Gaga Video Contest

KFC Kisses Carbs Goodbye

One of my favorite stories from my first week at Out involves an editor who told me, "This is probably the only job you'll ever have where you can keep porn on your desk but you have to keep your carbs hidden under it."

I love carbs way too much to ever be ashamed of their omni-presence in my life (some days it feels like the Pontiac-sized bowl of pasta I eat for dinner is all I have to look forward to) but for those of you who are stuck in 1999 and still a slave to the Atkins way of life (or for those of you who are simply looking for the next most caloric fast food sandwich item), let me introduce you to the KFC Double Down.

As the (appropriately) crude video above shows, the KFC Double Down consists of two slices of bacon, melted slices of swiss and pepper jack cheese and a dollop of "the Colonel's sauce" contained (but just barely) by two fried chicken breasts that double as a "bun." Though it looks toxic, (I can only begin to imagine the carnage that will take place in the restroom after indulging in one of these sandwiches -- Double Down, indeed) with a whopping 1,228 calories (as calculated by the Vancouver Sun since KFC has yet to reveal the sandwich's nutritional value) you only need to eat two of these suckers to reach (or exceed) your daily caloric intake. That's American ingenuity at its finest, folks.

The KFC Double Down is still in test stages, which means if you want one you'll have to travel to Providence, Rhode Island, or Omaha, Nebraska, but fear not! If this country is as predictable as I think it is, you'll soon be able to get your hands and gullet on one of these bad boys before you can say "adult diapers."

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > Flying Phallus: 1; Adam Lambert: 0

Food For Thought: Julie & Julia

For thousands of years food was simply the thing that gave humans the necessary energy to outrun a berserk woolly mammoth or continue to lug station wagon-size bricks to complete a prickish pharaoh's pyramid. But now, in this era of Food Network, celebrity chefs, and designer cuisines, how we cook and what we eat has become a major part of many of our lives -- and big business.

Before Top Chef invaded our TVs and you could buy a full line of Rachael Ray pots and pans or Emeril Lagasse spice rubs, Julia Child was dedicated to the art of cooking not for the product endorsements or the glory of the television spotlight, but merely because she truly loved food. The new Nora Ephron flick Julie & Julia tells the story of two women, the aforementioned government worker turned culinary superstar played by the brilliant Meryl Streep and Julie Powell, played by Amy Adams, also a government worker who, after feeling unfulfilled by her humble life, began a blog which documented her attempt to cook every one of the 524 recipes in Child's gastronomic bible, Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Having read Child's excellent memoir, My Life in France, and Julie Powell's not-so-excellent book which shares its title with the film, I had mixed feelings going into the press screening. I found Powell's account of her life in the kitchen to be somewhat graceless -- she came off as manic, annoying, and narcissistic -- and I didn't make it through half the book. The film is more satisfying but still left me hungry.

Guy candy: Owain Yeoman strips down for PETA

PETA's "getting naked is the best way to simultaneously protest animal cruelty, get a load of attention, and make people happy" campaign isn't limited to female celebrities. Like Battlestar Galactica's Jamie Barber who ditched his duds in February to raise awareness about the killing of bears, The Mentalist's Owain Yeoman is now casting his vote for vegetarianism by peeling off his shirt. Anyone else suddenly hungry for a salad?

Previously > Hear the demo of Madonna's new single "Revolver"

Special of the Day

Pop poison!

Photo: Getty Images

Here's a dirty little secret: we spend our days (when not scouring the Internet for Popnography worthy gossip) looking forward to our next chance to eat. In fact, while you might think an office filled with homos and straight women would consider carbs a mortal enemy -- our new "Bagel Friday" party is definitely the highlight of our work week.

So it's with a heavy heart (and an empty stomach) that we relay the following saddening snack news: the Peanut Corporation of America issued a safety recall of Disney’s Hannah Montana Peanut Chocolate Granola Bars due to possible salmonella contamination. That's right: those tasty Miley Cyrus treats you've been scarfing down like there's no tomorrow (or more specifically no judgmental looks ahead of you Friday night at the bar) might not just make you fat -- they might make you DEAD!

Here are the specifics of the recall:

Disney Hannah Montana Peanut Chocolate Granola Bar Boxes of 6 or 18 bars, 22 g each with the UPC codes 0 53847 20587 9 *, 0 53847 24451 9 *, 0 53847 20610 4 *. 1H001 through 3H365; 1J001 through 3J365; 1K001 through 3K029.

So clean out those cupboards and switch over to Cheetah Girl fruit snacks.

Previously > Stuff your face with this one!