Stuff your face with this one!

I would never walk around the Out office carrying a slice of pizza -- that would be like showing up at a vegan potluck with a few sticky pounds of baby back ribs in your picnic basket. Still, there's no way I could feel guilty about occasionally noshing on less-than-healthy, non-macrobiotic delights (bacon egg and swiss sandwiches after a crazy night out) after reading my favorite new blog, This Is Why You're Fat. They list ridiculous, impossibly fattening and hysterical foods found on various food and photo sites. Too-skinny gays be damned!

My absolute personal favorite is Turbaconucken. No -- it's not a sex position or a disparaging term for a Canadian -- it's a Turducken (Turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken) wrapped in bacon.
Simply divine! But there's other bacon entries that are truly excessive, like 2 pounds of bacon wound around a two pound sausage and covered in barbecue sauce, weird entries like a sixty pound rice crispy treat, or truly disgusting ones, like the romlette (an omelette made of Ramen noodles). Hurl!

I swear, this hilarious blog was made for the millions of Paula Dean-worshipping Americans who stuff their faces all day, thinking about quantity over quality. Or maybe it's to make fun of them? Either way -- I'm right there with them and I'll keep tuning in for new recipe ideas until my heart explodes (from adoration and/or grease)!

-- JOSEPH ALEXIOU

Previously > February 13 is "Shred Your Ex" day

Chatter: Lady GaGa's Valentine's Day wish list

“I want a good fuck and some carbohydrates. Good spaghetti and good sex.”

-- Lady GaGa on what she wants for Valentine's Day

Fair-weather Facebook friends beware: Burger King is coming for you

Photo: Getty Images

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. True, it's gotten me -- and kept me -- in touch with people that I had forgotten about (sometimes on purpose -- nothing worse than encountering an innocent "friend request" only to learn it's from that horribly cocky loser with the framed Anne Geddes "baby dressed as a pea pod" print above his bed you dated for a few weeks in the spring of 2005) but scanning the 250 "friends" I'm connected to this morning made me realize I don't really care about at least 3/5 of them. There are some I can't even remember approving!

If you're in the same position  -- and you must be -- I know you are! -- I have a little incentive to weed out some of the riffraff from your Facebook friends list. Burger King is offer a free Whopper to anyone who deletes 10 friends from their account. That's right -- delete 10 people and they'll send you a coupon for a burger courtesy of the fast food chain's chef ... er ... grill master ... er ... gangly teenage kid with a spatula and (hopefully) a hairnet.

Even better -- your Facebook account will announce each time you've deleted someone to score your complimentary grub by listing "Noah sacrificed That Girl He Went To Junior High With And Couldn't Care Less About for a Free Whopper" in your activity feed.

Sadly, you can only qualify for one free Whopper but that doesn't mean you have to stop once you've deleted 10 friends. The burger really isn't the point (I can't remember the last time I ate at Burger King) -- instead, why not let this serve as the catalyst you need to nix the nobodies you feel -- at best -- lukewarm about? Let's declare 2009 the year of less is more and let it begin with free fast food.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > Cazwell's "I Seen Beyonce At Burger King"

Mario Batali & Michael Stipe's lunch date

Photo: Getty Images

In the latest expression of their mutual BFF adoration society, restaurateur Mario Batali dug deep and bid $20,000 to win buddy Michael Stipe's creation for the Lunchbox Auction for the Food Bank of NYC.

Always an overachiever in his own quiet way, Stipe told the Daily News: "I made a bronze camera and buried it in chocolate inside the lunchbox, so you have to chisel it out." They also wanted to know what he packed for lunch as a kid, and though I'm not sure why, now I feel obligated to pass it along: "Carrot sticks and peanut butter-and-cheddar cheese sandwiches."

I swear, I'm not even implying there's something going on with these two. I just love that they're so out and proud in displaying their obvious affection for each other. Aww.

Previously > The rest of REM's totes straight

It's getting hot in here: Top Chef comes to NYC

Photo: Getty Images

[Note: Spoilers Ahead! Spoilers Ahead! Spoilers Ahead!]

Behold! The powerful gods of glossy reality television have, yet again, bestowed upon us Top Chef. Set in one of the food capitals of the world, New York City, we can already tell judging by the not one, but two, elimination challenges to appear on Wednesday's premiere episode that the seventeen remaining contestants are in for a hellish time. You know the drill -- one day you're in, and the next day you're... Whoops, Bravo-catchphrase-jumble!

Adding salience to the aura of "making it in the Big Apple," hosts Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio -- with respective arm scar and bald head aglow -- had readied an apple peeling quickfire competition before the cheftestants were allowed to move into their Williamsburg loft. The loser of the challenge, Lauren from Jag’s Seafood and Steak in Cincinnati, was immediately sent home, leaving cute, young -- but perhaps too inexperienced -- CIA student Patrick to fill the last spot of the Top Chef Brooklyn kennel.

Safe in their new home, for the moment, the cheftestants mingled, ate salad, drank wine, and compared strange technical cooking terms together. Overlooking McCarren Park, the show's gays, Patrick, Richard, and Jamie, lounged on their patio furniture, dubbing themselves "Team Rainbow." Jamie is a lesbian locavore from San Francisco who doesn't like being told what to do, and Richard is a wisecracking bear from San Diego who works in a bar called "Pecs" back home. And for that, we love him.

During the elimination challenge -- in which the chefs paired off against each other to create dishes inspired by neighborhoods like Astoria, Queens, and Little Italy -- Richard and Jamie were pitted against each other. But it was in fact Patrick who dulled the colors of Team Rainbow and was sent home for his lackluster Chinatown-inspired dish of gummy rice noodles and bok choy. It's ok! He’s only 21 years old. We wonder if his casting wasn't inevitably ill fated from the start, though...

Also missing from the first episode was regular judge and cultural omnigay Ted Allen. Perhaps he'll swoop in next week to complete the triangle of Team Rainbow that has found itself so suddenly missing an edge.

-- MIKE BERLIN

Previously > Christian Siriano goes to jail > Shear Genius

Out's 2008 Holiday Gift Guide: The gifts you'll want and will want to give

Photo courtesy of Photos.com

It's barely November and already the storefront windows are sticky with cartoon reindeer decals and you can't enjoy an episode of America's Next Top Model without having to sit through 22 commercials featuring sleigh bells and obnoxious children's choirs and painfully picturesque families having snowball fights before rushing off to Wal-Mart to buy each other scratchy flannel pajamas and jigsaws.

Sadly, we don't have any control over the aforementioned annoyances that herald the arrival of the holiday season, but with Out's 2008 Gift Guide we can offer you some sage advice regarding the purchasing of presents that your friends and family members will actually want to receive.

With categories like Gadgets, Spirits, Entertainment and Fashion you'll be able to find something for even the pickiest person on your holiday shopping list. Perhaps a pair of Dior Homme high tops for your boyfriend or Shanghai Tang Double Fish Martini Glasses for the neighbor across the hall who has never once complained your loud late night activities.

We also have a section on gift giving etiquette to help you tackle the trickiest and most delicate of situations, such as the most tactful way to handle gifts that you just don't want. And this is only the beginning! We'll be a whole second set of Out's 2008 Gift Guide in the weeks to come, featuring the hottest luxe items, advice, and etiquette. You'll be gaily prepared no matter what holiday you're celebrating this winter.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Voting does a country -- and a belly -- good

Photo: Getty Images

After voting today, you'll not only be filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment (and hopefully later on tonight victory!), but if you play your cards -- or your "I voted!" sticker -- right, you can score a whole bunch of free tasty treats too:

> Krispy Kreme is offering a free red, white, and blue star-shaped donut

> Ben & Jerry's will be handing out free scoops of ice cream

> Many Chick-Fil-A restaurants will be give awaying free chicken strips, milkshakes, and waffle fries

Starbucks will also be offering a free tall cup of coffee to anyone who asks for one. They originally required you say that you had voted, but the giveaway was deemed illegal since it could be construed as paying people to vote.

Go make your voice heard and then find whatever comfort you can in free high-calorie snacks while you anxiously await the election results. We all might need to hit up the above chains several times in order to properly distract ourselves from the extra (dis)stress caused by Prop 8.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > Remote control the vote!

Tastemakers: Steven Durbahn and Johnathan Morr

Photo: Spencer Heyfron

Out's November issue showcases our annual Tastemakers portfolio, which highlights the hippest arbiters of style currently leading the charge at the forefront of the nation's ongoing cultural revolution.

From fashion phenoms to chic restaurateurs to dance company directors, the impeccable taste and sensibility of these men make our lives simpler, prettier, happier, and richer. Today's featured trendsetters are Jonathan Morr and Steven Durbahn:

Jonathan Morr is an expert at being ahead of the curve. Years before modern Asian noodle palaces became all the rage in Manhattan, he launched Republic in Union Square. “When my partners and I signed the lease there, it was way before any Barnes & Noble or Whole Foods,” he reminisces. “That area had a lot more to do with prostitution and drugs, but it had a beautiful park with a lot of potential… It was quite obvious to us that there was inevitable change coming to the area.” Likewise, before the meatpacking district was safe for the well-washed masses, hipsters were sneaking into his APT on West 13th Street.

He nurtured his mastery of all things cool while managing the restaurant 44 at the Royalton Hotel in Manhattan, and the Blue Door at the Delano Hotel in South Beach, and then used it to create the sushi chain Bond Street and reinvent the Townhouse Hotel in Miami. His lounge ventures include the exclusive A60 and ABH rooftop retreats atop the Thompson Hotels in SoHo and Beverly Hills, respectively. His current projects include a Mexico City hotel and Stand, an upscale burger chain launched in New York City’s West Village.

Steven Durbahn has been with Morr since his Republic days, when he was the general manager at the constantly buzzing joint. He went on to oversee the openings of the New York, Miami, and Beverly Hills outposts of Bond Street. He’ll continue to manage the franchise from Los Angeles, and is already eyeing Las Vegas for expansion.

-- CHRIS ROVZAR

Previously > George Yabu & Glenn Pushelberg > Trey McIntyre