Enough chatter about Levi and his hockey stick on the imaginary cover of Playgirl. Child's play! We all know the sexy grown-ups are on the cover of People -- at least once a year, when the magazine names its Sexiest Man Alive. Yesterday Johnny Depp reprised his 2003 victory, taking the title for 2009. So what's it take to win the distinction? Hint: Levi's gonna need a few more years under his belt and, um, at least a few blockbuster movies -- or some such career -- before he's eligible.
In an attempt to discern the magic sexy formula, Slate analyzed a sampling of quotes from People editors explaining how honorees from years past earned the distinction. ("He can wear gold teeth and still look good," was cited among the considerations for Depp's previous crowning.) Suffice it to say, you might be competitive if you've got a "a hard body with a soft center," a "down-to-earth Aussie vibe," an "elegant, but down to earth" air, "a twinkle in the eye," or are just "wonderfully ordinary." You're still gonna need decent bone structure though. And a really good publicist.
> Hasbro is poking a stick at one of the few nostalgic pop culture stones left unturned by the recent flurry of remakes, revisions, and sequels -- it's resuscitated the licensing rights to Jem and the Holograms! At the moment no one has any idea exactly what this means -- there might be plans for either a movie or a TV series which may or may not have aHigh School Musical scriptwriter and/or the director of something amazing and bizarre looking called The Secret of the Magic Gourdattached.But we already know that Samantha Newark, voice of the original Jem, is ready for her comeback!
Why is it so difficult for people to walk the walk and not just talk the talk? If you’re a politician trying to keep the gays down, shouldn’t you be, you know, NOT gay? If you preach Christianity, shouldn’t you be a good Christian? It wasn’t long after news broke that Carrie Prejean and the Miss California Organization had settled their lawsuits out of court that the reason for the sudden settlement made headlines. Seems the Queen of Christian Values had a sex tape, which she wanted to keep hush-hush, so she walked away from a million dollar claim with nothing. Sex tapes are no big deal, but if you’re going to come out in support of “traditional marriage,” shouldn’t that include sex only within said marriage? It’s not that you’re a plasticated whore, honey, it’s that you’re a hypocrite. The funny thing is, it appears there are no buyers for the tape. Surprisingly few people want to see a good girl going bad.
Memoirs of a Former Jenny Craig Spokeswoman
So Kirstie Alley is set to be in a reality show on A&E. About weight loss. No surprise there. Is there anything else she’s famous for anymore? But do people really want to spend time with this self-proclaimed "Fat Actress"? (I’d add "abrasive" to that too.) Do you care about her weight problems? Seriously, people. Discuss.
Rue the Day
Golden Girl Rue McClanahan was due to be feted next week in San Francisco, but had to pull out because of heart bypass surgery. Golden: A Gala Tribute to Rue McClanahan was set for November 14 at the Castro Theatre, with clips, a theme-song sing-along, and a look-a-like contest. The erstwhile Blanche Devereaux said she was devastated at having to pull out of the event, adding, “Trust me, I’d much rather be in San Francisco having fun and being adored by all of you.” I think she knows she’s adored wherever she is.
Maine Event
Some kid posted on YouTube this video of people lip synching to the Lily Allen song “Fuck You.” Heartened me after the defeat in Maine. Maybe it will hearten you too.
Some dos and don’ts from the bestselling (well, free,
really…) A Book of Rules, published by the Taliban in the original
Pashto-language and available at all reputable insurgent bookstores in
Afghanistan. “Receiving money for prisoner’s release is forbidden.” “Smoking is
strictly forbidden for Mujahideen.” “If someone gets the death penalty for his
crime, he will be killed with gunshot and making video of the event is
forbidden.” “The Martyrdom seeker must be well-trained prior to attack.”
“Mujahideen have to avoid company of the youngsters without having beard,
specially keeping them in camps.” “If there is no danger, Mujahideen should say
their prayers in…” Now just lets back up there, a little … right to the bit
about the beardless boys. And yes, it is pretty much exactly what you’re
thinking.
The tradition of “bacha bereesh” -- a boy without a beard-- is deep-rooted in parts of Afghanistan, with the beautiful youngsters recruited
often through trickery or allegedly by force, to dance for wealthy (male) patrons.
The men are into “bacha bazi”, which translates as “boy-play.” The boys are
typically 14-18 years old, but skewed towards the 14 rather than the 18.
Dressed in women’s clothes, the dancers provide the entertainment at parties
where, sex segregation is otherwise the norm. At the end of the night, the boys
are often shared among their patrons’ friends, and sometimes are sold on. As a
practice, it’s been impossible to stamp out, and even back in 2007, the famous
previous Taliban “Rule Number 19” specified that fighters must not take young
boys without facial hair into their private quarters.
Clearly, some rules are being broken regularly enough to
worry the Taliban that their behavior will not help win hearts and minds in
the territory they’re occupying.
Gately was found dead on Saturday afternoon near the resort Port Andratx on the Spanish island of Majorca following a night out with his partner Andrew Cowles. Though rumors of heavy drinking, drugging, and a possible threesome with another man have run rampant since the singer's death, authorities recently stated that Gately died of natural causes -- an acute pulmonary oedema (a build-up of fluid on the lungs).
In an unusual move, Moir responded to the criticism of her piece saying, "When I wrote that 'he would want to set an example to any impressionable young men who may want to emulate what they might see as his glamorous routine,' I was referring to the drugs and the casual invitation to a stranger. Not to the fact of his homosexuality."
Unsatisfied with her statement, Marks & Spencer pulled their advertising from the webpage featuring Moir's column. Earlier today a Facebook page was set up urging users to lobby brands featured on the page, including Marks & Spencer, to pull their advertising and now all display advertising surrounding Moir's article has been removed from the Mail Online webpage.
"Marks
& Spencer does not tolerate any form of discrimination," said a
spokesman for the retailer. "We have asked the Daily Mail to move our
advertisement away from the article. This is a matter for the Daily
Mail." Nestle, which also had an ad on the page, remarked that Moir's comments went against the company's devotion to "mutual respect and tolerance." The company added, "Nestle has no influence on the editorial content of the publications in which it advertises. The views expressed in the article are from the author and are not shared by Nestle."
Over the years, Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has been accused of a lot of things -- child abuse, rape, and the assault of an L.A. Times reporter to name just a few. But one thing he has never been mistaken for is a civil rights advocate. Suffice it to say his attendance at the National Equality March in D.C. this past weekend raised more than a few eyebrows. Was it a joke? A publicity stunt? A heartfelt motion for justice from a complicated individual? A conservative foil meant to equate equality with soft-core, soft-consensual pornography?
Reasoning aside, it's Francis's quip to the New York Post that's truly infuriating. "With the gay movement, it's personal. The same religious-right
[bleep]holes who took away my civil rights and put me in jail for a
year because they don't like what I do for a living have taken away gay
rights," he says. "I know firsthand how it feels to have your civil rights
stripped from you." Right, because "not being permitted to marry one's partner and receive rights and benefits accordingly" is exactly the same as "not being permitted to physically harm or sexually exploit other humans (or traffic drugs, run up gambling debts, or dodge taxes)."
Whether or not you consider making pornography a "civil right," there are plenty of millionaire pornographers who've never spent a day, never mind a year, in jail. Francis's issues aren't about his chosen profession, they're about his lack of respect for other people, particularly women. Case in point? To his impassioned political statement to the Post he feels the need to add a literal postscript: "P.S., lots of lesbians marched, too." Wink wink, dudebrah.
Far be it for us to decry genuine commitment to the cause, but before we'll welcome an endorsement from the likes of Joe Francis, he's going to have to come out -- as a human being with some concept of the term civility.
When I interviewed Lady Gaga in October of last year for a feature on Out.com, I didn’t know then that the relatively unknown woman speaking to me -- her greatest claim to fame at that point was having had Christina Aguilera all but call her a tranny -- would soon be one of the most famous women in the world. Though she had already secured the adoration of the gay community with her hook-heavy songs, glittering with references to sex, love, and living the fabulous life, the mainstream had yet be conscripted into Gaga’s glam army. Fast forward through the next 11 months. They were filled with number one singles, bras that shoot fire, countless magazine covers, sold out tour dates, a dress made out of Kermit the Frog heads, and a performance where she "bled to death" that was broadcast into millions of living rooms. We all now realize that, whether you appreciate what Lady Gaga does or not, there’s no denying the pop behemoth she’s become.
We decided to put Lady Gaga on our September fashion issue cover sometime around the beginning of June. She’s one of the most stylish artists working in music today (her outfits at the MTV Music Awards -- from the blood red shrimp tempura-esque gown, mask, and crown to the Inuit sea anemone head piece -- alone are dissertation worthy); she’s never abandoned the gay community, regularly citing it as the reason she’s achieved the success she has; and when you peel back the layers of outrageous spectacle and attention-grabbing stunts, she is, at her core, an immensely talented, classically trained artist who writes her own songs and controls all aspects of her image both on and off stage.
But getting Lady Gaga on the cover of your magazine is easier said than done.
Last week, British prime minister Gordon Brown issued an apology
-- at the behest of tens of thousands of petition-signers -- for the
government’s persecution of Alan Turing, a mathematician and World War
II code breaker who committed suicide after undergoing chemical
castration to “treat” his homosexuality in the 1950s. Chemical
castration -- in which hormones are injected to suppress sex drive --
is just one of the gay “therapies” -- ranging from inhumane to
downright absurd -- doctors devised over the centuries.
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