Public Penis Art: The Bishop’s Bollocks

It’s the equivalent of a bored teen drawing a penis on a bus shelter … except this one’s in stone, and a whole lot more irreverent -- and was in view in one of the world’s oldest cathedrals for centuries without anyone noticing.

If you look at the picture, you first see the heraldic shield carving -- this was one of many inside historic Elgin Cathedral in Scotland, used to hold up pillars and for decoration. Then a closer look shows a monk holding the shield from behind. Now look right at the bottom of the shield, under the pointed tip. Yes, that is exactly the semi-erect peen you think it is …

Historians sifting through the trove of carvings removed from the now-ruined church for safekeeping were surprised and shocked by the find. The figure --  known as “Bollocks Man” in the delightful Scots parlance -- is thought to be of Bishop Columba (who lived around the mid 1430s), and an expert from Historic Scotland says: “It wouldn’t have been anything serious,” she says. “Just typical schoolboy humor poking fun at the bishop in a way that only they could enjoy”.

Previously > Puppetry of the Penis Returns

Quickies: Of Peaches and Post-Its

> Actor Ron Livingston, better known as SATC's Jack "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me" Berger, would like you to know he isn't gay, despite the best efforts of a very committed Wikipedia hacker who would have you believe otherwise.

> Peaches will be named a "special Honorary Member" of The Harvard Lampoon (the Ivy League comedy-writing equivalent of the Knights Templar or something) tonight at their "Annual Canadian Synthpunk/Glam Rock Awards Dinner."

> A forthcoming Bollywood movie will include a gay love scene -- an industry first!

> Neil Patrick Harris is "Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman."

> Oh, (NSFW) Canada.

Photo: Getty Images

Previously > The Notable (Out) Books of 2009

Wal-Mart Promotes (Sanitary) Public Sex

Recently photographed in a Wal-Mart men's room by a friend of Popnog:

Previously > Public Penis Art: SF Edition

Puppetry of the Penis Returns!

The theatrical Australian import is returning to New York City, this time at 45 Bleecker Street Theatre. The show features Simon and Justin Morly performing, as you may have guessed, non-sexual puppetry with their junk.

What exactly can one do with a penis to fill an entire show?  I'm not exactly sure, but the show's site calls one dicktastic act, "The Hamburger."  Yum?

Check out the somewhat dated video above to catch a glimpse of the action.  For ticket information visit telecharge.com or the Puppetry of the Penis site.

--GREGORY MILLER

Previously > Penny Arcade Gets Old, Queeny

Public Penis Art: SF Edition

Popnog reader Brandon Middleton took our plea for public penis art from around the country seriously and sent in this fine specimen he happened upon near Lake Merced in San Francisco.

Lovely find, Brandon. Now -- the rest of you slackers -- get out there and start trolling the back alleys and back woods of your respective hometowns and send us some phallus photos!

Previously > The joys of public penis art

The joys of public penis art

One of my fellow Out staff members (he'll remain nameless to protect what little innocence he's managed to hold onto) sent me the above picture. He snapped it somewhere on the streets of New York and it reminded me of the 60ft painted phallus we featured last week.

Note the cultural lessons we can learn by studying the differences between the two instances of public penis art: in America we are apparently less concerned with size (though, given the scale, we still like 'em ample), here we're still primarily fans of the cut variety, and whereas the Brits hide their desires on their parents' rooftops, we happily, proudly display them on any old bus shelter.

We're hoping to make our public penis art posts more of a regular thing. If you see one, snap it and send it to us Popnography@Out.com.

Previously > In praise of teenage size queens