Last week, British prime minister Gordon Brown issued an apology
-- at the behest of tens of thousands of petition-signers -- for the
government’s persecution of Alan Turing, a mathematician and World War
II code breaker who committed suicide after undergoing chemical
castration to “treat” his homosexuality in the 1950s. Chemical
castration -- in which hormones are injected to suppress sex drive --
is just one of the gay “therapies” -- ranging from inhumane to
downright absurd -- doctors devised over the centuries.
Seeing as taking Viagra may result in unwanted flatulence, toothaches, U-shaped members, and even death, scientists have developed a new erectile enhancer that is rubbed directly onto the skin and reportedly causes less side effects than the (in)famous little blue pill.
According to the UK Telegraph, American scientists at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine tested the new technique, which utilizes nanoparticle technology, on seven rats, five of which showed signs of arousal. Researchers believe the topical drug will not only cause less side effects than its oral counterpart, but will also start working its magic significantly sooner which means less waiting for your willy to wooden and more fun for everyone.
At this point in our socio-sexual-medical history it seems like scoring Viagra is easier than scoring the guy with whom you'd like to use the wonder drug. No longer is the Rx sought after purely by the AARP set -- now it's not uncommon for men of all ages to gulp down the little blue pill to guarantee things go smoothly -- and stiffly -- in the bedroom (or pup tent or minivan or locker room).
> 243 heart disorders -- 133 heart attacks, 44 of those fatal
> 31 cases of priapism (erections that last much longer than expected or wanted -- up to six hours!)
> 2 cases of the rare condition known as Peyronieis disease or "bent nail syndrome" where the penis begins to look U-shaped (God help us!)
Other reported side effects involved two men who claimed the drug made them deaf, seven men who claimed it made them blind, one who said it made him foam at the mouth and another who said he lost control of his legs. There have also been instances of Viagra-related flatulence, toothaches, and hiccups.
Of course it's yet to be proven that any of these claims are true and even if they are, that they were actually caused by taking Viagra -- but still -- it's worth considering the next time you debate looking in the medicine cabinet for a little help -- or recreational fun -- below the belt.
If you're a professional baseball player with a multi-million dollar contract and a passionate soul-connection with Madonna, the news that you used steroids comes with enough stigma (and criminal consequences) to seriously sidetrack your career. That stigma is so strong, in fact, that you'd feel it even if you were an everyday guy just trying to look and feel your best, and found that steroids improved your overall health and quality of life.
As Jordan Heller reports in the current issue of Fanzine, some doctors, who believe the health benefits of moderated anabolic steroid use outweigh the (often unsubstantiated) risks, are trying to change this. “If it was legal, and no one had any moral or ethical objection, I’d say ‘Go for it.’ Why not? They’re drugs," one physician aruges. "They can be
misused, but they can be used properly, too. Let’s face it, if all the
objections were removed, there would be very little difference between
prescribing steroids to an adult male and prescribing birth control
pills to a woman."
It's true that we chemically redesign our bodies all the time, from Ambien and Botox to Viagra and Zoloft. (And by "we" I mean me and Madonna.) What do you think? Do steroids deserve their bad rap?
To the growing roster of gay icons of the animal kingdom, please welcome ... a PINK DOLPHIN! Straight out of a second-grader's sketchpad, this titillating Tursiops truncatus lives in a Louisiana lake and has been making waves on the internet today, thanks to the appearance of some vivid new photos.
He's not a hallucination, he's an ultra-rare albino bottlenose dolphin (not to be confused with the Amazon River Boto, a species of naturally pink freshwater dolphin). First spotted in 2007, he's apparently already something of a local celebrity, and will no doubt be immortalized in countless liberal children's books.
With all the doom and gloom endlessly churning in the economy as of late, sometimes all we want is a bouncy, dependable pop song to distract us from the skyrocketing price of Frosted Flakes. So when Beyonce released "Single Ladies" last fall we were quick to latch on and crank it up to take our minds off our anemic bank accounts.
And it turns out "Single Ladies" is more regular than your grandmother after glugging down a gallon of prune juice.
Even stranger -- the regularity of songs seems to predict the markets
-- not the other way around. According to Maymin "the market
becomes unstable only after the charts are full of steady tunes --
almost as if certain hits can cause market shake-ups."
Which means we need to find a way to make Sonic Youth #1 on the charts STAT.
Kidman will play Einar Wegener, a man who stood in for a female model his wife, Greta, was preparing to paint. When the resulting portraits became incredibly popular in Copenhagen in the '20s, Einar continued to pose as a woman for his wife and ended up transitioning in a historical sex change operation in 1931. Kidman will also produce the film based on the fictionalized account of the Wegeners' story published by author David Ebershoff in 2000.
Seeing as a prosthetic nose won Nicole the Oscar last time, could a prosthetic penis be just the thing to clinch another statuette? Only time will tell.
> The New York Daily News got all linguistic in an effort to compare (as well as slash and burn) new Project Runway contestant Blayne Walsh to season four winner Christian Siriano. The paper is claiming that Walsh, who wrote the word "Girlicious" on the leg of his model before she walked the runway last week, is attempting to position himself as the new Siriano, who tirelessly inflicted the nation with his 15-years-too-late catchphrase "fierce!" for three months last winter. Michael Adams, professor of English at Indiana University, tells the paper that "Girlicious" won't catch on because "it sounds strange." He added, "It's got a stunt aspect, and stunt words remain stunt words." Another authority on the topic, Robert Thompson, professor of TV and pop culture at Syracuse University, says, "Girlicious made me roll my eyes. It sounded like a self-conscious catchphrase created in a labratory. I thought, 'Okay, he's trying to be the next Christian.'" Can you really blame him? Jetting around the country, dressing Posh, partying with Klum -- there were a few days there when evenwe wanted to be the next Christian, and we couldn't even sew an oven mitt if our Grandmomma's life depended on it.
> Though the story became international news after appearing in the Advocate, People magazine snagged the first post-birth interview with Thomas Beatie, otherwise known as "The Pregnant Man," since his daughter, Susan Juliette, was born three weeks ago. Susan was delivered after 40 hours of labor, with Beatie's partner Nancy by his side coaching him. "When Susan finally came out, it was like in slow motion," says Thomas.
"I was full of wonder." Nancy adds, "There were tears of joy." Popnography offers our sincere congratulations to you both, and -- perhaps naively -- hopes that People magazine gave you at least one-tenth of the sum that they offered Brad and Angelina for pics of their new twins.
> To honor the life and work of Estelle Getty, who passed away earlier this week at the age of 84, Lifetime will run a Golden Girls marathon on Friday, July 24, from 12pm to 5pm. All of the episodes will be Sophia-centric beginning with the beloved series' pilot. You can vote for your favorite 30 minutes of feisty octogenarian shenanigans at MyLifetime.com and the selection with the most votes will be shown as the final episode of the marathon. We can already hear the sweet distant sound of thousands of happy TiVo's purring as the record away all Friday afternoon.
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