I'm in trouble then. Especially with my Twilight Hangover. Which is a totally real thing. It's what happens when you go to the midnight screening of New Moon at Lincoln Center, the guy in front of you keeps turning around to throw flirty glances and you think, "If I get picked up at The Twilight Saga I will have to recreationally throw myself off a cliff," they close the subway on 66th Street, and by the time you're home, at 3:30 AM, you start realizing that Taylor Lautner is actually pretty adorable with his shirt on. Or maybe I just need a nice guy in my life. But now I'm at work. Twilight Hangover.
But the movie did remind me of one relevant fact. Boys with expertly styled hair and powered-down skin? Boys who spent 18 hours at the gym each week and then say they're just growing? They have secrets. Monsters inside of them, and when you have to start keeping their secrets things get messy. Just ask Peter Stone. Tonight on Degrassi we see if Peter can help his friend Riley safely out of the closet without anyone else getting a broken nose or a clocked jaw. Riley's a wild guy, and he's not going gay without a fight.
Degrassi: The Next Generation "Beat It Part 2" airs tonight on Teen Nick at 8/7 central. You can catch up with this season by watching episodes online at The Click at TeenNick.com or downloading past seasons from iTunes or Amazon.com.
You'll want to check back in on Monday for the full recap, where we'll be talking about what's really going on with the kids today, what they've inherited from you, the dirty truth behind student LGBT groups, and how a weekly dose of Glee factors in to all of this.
My household, which contains only one loyal Project Runway viewer -- me -- where once there were three, had to be coaxed away from a stored-in-TiVo doggie Halloween costume episode of The Martha Stewart Show and coerced into giving a damn about the cream of this, the most mediocre season, for 60 entire minutes.
In the other viewers’ defense, one of those dogs was dressed like a frog, another like a camel, and third wore a little sombrero. You can’t really blame a person for wanting to watch that instead.
It was part two of the finale and Carol Hannah continued her stomach-flu story arc from last week. But she failed to play the game properly. Had she been a little more cunning she would have aimed her viral vomit all over Irina’s superior collection and eliminated the one thing standing in between her and second place.
And now, a countdown of the most exciting stuff that happened on this finale, in ascending thrill order:
5. More suggestions that Althea just steals all her ideas from Irina. She doesn’t, of course, but it comes to a foamy, room-temperature head when Althea decides she wants her models to have a smudgy smoky eye. JUST LIKE IRINA. She’s got a nerve, that one, wanting her models to have eyes and hair. Later, as Irina announces to the interview-cam that she’s having to work so fast to get her collection finished, you half expect her to continue with, “…and then I looked over and noticed that Althea was also working quickly!”
Joanna has no more pressure to worry about. And it's a good thing we learned all about her upbringing on Monday night, so last night's elimination could be even more heartfelt and goosebump-inducing, as she and Derek did their last Viennese waltz across the dance floor at the show's end. But don't worry, Joanna, you can follow in the footsteps of last season's finalist Melissa Rycroft (who?) and come back again for a cameo in a results show routine next year! I wonder who thought, Hey, let's have the Bachelor lady pop out of nowhere during a routine to the Bee Gees singing "You Should Be Dancing."
And now there are the final three. How will this play out?
Donny Osmond: He's an energetic and perpetually professional showman, but his buoyancy can be grating when it becomes self-flagellating. Primary advantage: a favorite among the wholesome primary audience demographic, namely your mom and grandmom. And guess what? They must vote, because he has been saved readily every week, never even landing in the bottom two.
Kelly Osbourne: An emotional and inspiring blossoming flower, they love talking about what a lady the young Osbourne has become, and what Middle American doesn't enjoy seeing a loudmouth, rock and roll, drug addicted teenager become a socially acceptable feminine woman? But Kelly's talent is that her genuine elation about uncovering passion and talent for dancing transcends the simple makeover story, so those of us who loved her on The Osbournes love her as much now, for the same reasons.
Mya: The leaderboard shoe-in, the one to beat. She has never been near the bottom two, so audiences must also favor the R&B star and her pristine routines. Her biggest obstacle to overcome is Len, who seems to alternate between skewering her routines for being too dramatic and giving a low score, or praising her form but making creepy remarks about her "tutti fruity booty." I suppose in the case of the latter, if the judge is handing out ten's, perhaps tolerating such scrutiny is the price to bring home the disco ball trophy.
Come back on Monday for our exclusive interview with Mya.
Famed make-up artist Debbie Zoller couldn’t be happier. She’s flourished in a cut-throat industry for 25 years and has racked up a total of seven Emmy Award nominations. For two seasons Zoller created the “peaches and cream” look on Mad Men to fit the early 1960s period and now she’s making blood, guts and gore look authentic on ABC’s hit show Castle.
Zoller is no stranger to the big screen either. She's worked on the gay comedy Jeffrey, Pirates of the Caribbean and Kill Bill 1 and 2.
But behind the makeup is also a woman who fought to save her brother Mark’s life after he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. Though he passed away in June, Zoller says she has no regrets and will continue the fight for other individuals with leukemia.
We caught up with Zoller while she was on lunch break at Castle. In an rare and honest interview, she discussed what she thinks of Adam Lambert’s makeup, what looks should go back in the closet, and what she learned from her brother’s fight.
Out: It’s always more fun to dish on the worst dressed people rather than the best dressed. So, before you tell us what’s in with makeup, tell us what’s got to go. Debbie Zoller: I see so many people still doing that streaky blush of the 1980’s. You know, where you look at them and they look like they have war paint on. I still see that, and I’m like, "are you kidding me?" Nowadays the cheeks are supposed to be just apples and illuminated and make you look like you just have a little bit of blush.
What else is in? The retro 60’s red lipstick is very in right now. Also, a clean eye with a black eyeliner. Pat McGrath was doing a lot of that with the fall fashion runway shows. The smoky eye is definitely coming back in. But instead of it being the smoky blacks and grays, they are mixing it now with the jewel tones -- smoky blue or smoky green.
Do you see men wearing makeup becoming an “in thing"?Guys nowadays are getting just as vain as women. They like to stand in front of a mirror before they go out on a date or out to a club. Sometimes they may have acne or if they shave with a razor they may get razor bumps and it’s all red and not looking too pretty. They want to be able to cover that. Men will use products, but they won’t admit it. Ten years ago I was really close to creating my own line of men’s skincare and foundation.
Adam Lambert’s makeup caught America a little off guard. What do you think of his look?
I love Adam Lambert. He reminds me a little of Sam Harris [The Class] who I worked with for years early in my career. He has such a huge voice and is an amazing talent. I love his "guy-liner.”
This relatively gentle season of Dancing with the Stars is coming to a close next week (with Whitney Houston singing at the finale!!), and last night the remaining four couples danced three routines to escape the final chopping block and make it into the last round. Donny Osmond came out of the gate flailing -- it was a painful mess of a first dance, and I was surprised he got even straight 7s -- it was that bad. The show never quite gained the same momentum, perhaps because of all the serious segments about how badly all the contestants want to win. Except for Mya. I know I sometimes hate on the DWTS equivalent of Project Runway's Irina (yes, yes, we all know you're going to win, even you), but at least I have a moment of fun watching Irina's attitude, whereas Mya the 10 Girl is nothing but polite and gracious, which is a wonderful characteristic in real life but snoozey on reality TV.
The most likely competition for snatching the disco ball trophy from Mya is the model Joanna. I still forget why she's a "Star," but last night's video cleared it up for me: communist Poland, working-poor life in Chicago, single-minded ambition, and Hugh Hefner. I'm not sure it was the wisest idea to plug your Playboy connection on the family-oriented ABC show, but maybe they have test audience stats I don't. But then everyone shut up so she and Derek could dance the cha-cha-cha to Kylie's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" in red fringey pants.
Popnography has a hard time resisting Kylie. So will the "swimsuit model" stand in the final three? It seems that Kelly and Donny are racing for the third spot, with Kelly having a slight edge because of higher judge's scores and Donny's recent ballroom floor falterings. He might be well-loved enough to get the votes to keep him in the horse race, but the safest bet to place next week will be Mya to win, Joanna to place, and Kelly to show.
Man, some recaps just write themselves, so let's dive into this, shall we?
Previously: Riley’s gay and the quarterback of the football team and his big life dreams include being the most popular guy in high school. Like Teen Witch! When we last caught up with him he was making YouTube videos about his best friend Peter (spot on) and publicly dating Fiona, though girl has some sexual issues of her own.
This week Degrassi was all about things both terrifying and desperately exciting -- like high school swimming pools.
So Riley is training to be a lifeguard because I guess all those steroids he bought got to be expensive, and now he needs some extra cash this summer when he and Peter sneak into that one-screen theater in the bad part of town where’s it’s important to bring a blanket or a big sweatshirt. Jokes. Obviously Riley would internally combust if he ever saw gay porn. He pretty much combusts when their student instructor, whose birth name I believe is Cute Lifeguard, performs CPR on a dummy, not even another student, and those flushed pink lips breathing heavy on a piece of plastic sculpted like human parts sends one of Riley’s human parts straight into the air. This does not go unnoticed and Riley immediately and obviously dives into the pool to save face. Whaw whaw trombone. Riiiiiiley, what’re we going to do with you?
> Taking the words right out of the mouth of James "It's performance art" Franco, Lady Gaga (above, performing at Saturday's MOCA NEW 30th anniversary gala in L.A.) explains her appearance on tonight's episode of Gossip Girl thusly:"It’s very performance art." The lady will provide a "fashion montage"/rendition of "Bad Romance" set at her real-life alma matter NYU in an episode fittingly titled "The Last Days of Disco Stick."
> Funny lady and friend of the gays Kathy Griffin is crossing over... to crime drama. She'll appear on the February 10 episode of Law and Order: SVUplaying a "lesbian activist."
Where can you find the most nuanced LGBT characters this side of Showtime? It's not any major network or adult drama, but actually a little station called TeenNick (formerly, or more commonly known as The-N). Surprising to most adults, but not to kids in the know, TeenNick has little to nothing in common with it's Disney Channel equivalent, and between shows like Degrassi: The Next Generation and South of Nowhere, the station regularly features the kind of gay and lesbian characters not seen on any major network's high school shows, including Gossip Girl or The OC.
So tonight, one of the network's flagship shows, Degrassi: The Next Generation, will host the first of a two part, two week episode event as Riley, played by Agiris Karras, the latest of the show's regular gay high school students, struggles to come out.
To get you caught up I've broken down Riley's story on the show episode by episode, so you'll have all the facts before Riley has to tell his football team he's already part of another different kind of team. So let's take a journey, shall we, to painful high school experiences you'll be GLAAD you never had...
"The Man With Two Hearts" (Season 8, Episode 5): Oh Peter. The foppish, flaxen-haired child of divorce who now inexplicably lives in his own apartment at age: Tom Sawyer, grade: infinitely in high school. He had already lost his rape-victim girlfriend to that foreign looming force called the CW, and soon vampires would take away his new, teenage mother girlfriend. Yes, Peter had a way of picking up the scraps just before they were turned shiny and new. But Peter had had it with his "kiss-of-fame," it was time to go where there was no kissing. It was time to go where the boys were! Enter Riley. A hardy male with the build of a moose and a smile like pancakes. Or however Canadians like to describe themselves. So Peter and his friend-for-life Riley played that game where they knew how to throw a punch like Ponyboy and Sodapop, and in a moment of pure testosterone Peter's balls finally dropped and Riley got brave and OH DAMN HE KISSED HIM. And oh. But Peter was so sweet, and so lonely, that he said it was "OK, man." He and Riley were still bffs, forever and ever until Riley got his own CW show called The Beautiful Life Take 2. Readers still in high school -- this does not happen in real life. Boys you kiss who don't kiss back? They do not stay friends with you. Especially straight boys. Peter, I'm quite sure, is just a miracle of TV.
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