Our fearless Popnogtrix, Shana, has been sent off to cover the hard news about California gay marriage today and has left the rest of us to babysit entertain you. A month ago, when the equal marriage decision was announced, I offered up a series of YouTube videos aimed to overwhelm you with emotion and cry like a little baby.
I'm making up for it now: Welcome to The World’s Shortest, Dumbest, Gay Marriage YouTube Comedy Film Festival.
Category: Best Straight Person Sarcastically Explaining Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong
Winner:
By far the most coveted category in the festival: straight guys who love to make snide arguments against same-sex marriage that aren't all they seem. At first you think they’re crazy vile bigots, but then it turns out they’re just wiseacres. There’s a whole subset genre where caring straight dudes read from a flyer the University of Florida Gay-Straight Alliance made called "12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage Will Ruin Society." Some even set it to music. We have this nagging feeling that these videos are little more than a way to get chicks to think you're a sensitive caring dude.
Category: Best Stand-Up
Winner:
We've given this award one too many times to both Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho. This year's winner is Wanda Sykes, because seriously, someone else deserves a turn.
Category: Best Gay Marriage Ad
Winner:
As much as we wanted to include this Argentinian beer ad, it's not really about marriage. The winner is a sweet spot, that's an honest-to-goodness ad for gay marriage created by award-winning Toronto agency, Zig and produced by Industry Films.
Category: Best Use of Offensive Stereotypes to Get People to Open Their Minds
Winner:
Breathe easy, P.C. people. By "offensive stereotypes", we mean "Southern rednecks", not "mincing queens." It was either that or "old people".
And for no reason other than it makes us laugh, the Palm d'Matrimony Award goes to:
-- JAPHY GRANT
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